A Funny For A Cold Winter's Day

A wife texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: “Windows frozen.” Her husband texts back: “Pour some lukewarm water over it.” The wife texts back 5 minutes later: “Computer completely messed up now.” -
http://www.commonsenseevaluation.com/2014/12/30/joke-day-frozen-windows/#sthash.k2AB4Jig.dpbs
And this: Last year, a guy went to a doctor because he was losing weight. He found out he had a tapeworm, and was instructed by the doctor to bring a muffin, a Twinkie and a cookie with him on his next visit. When he was being examined the doctor shoved the muffin, the Twinkie, and finally the cookie up the guy’s a**. The patient protested, but the doctor calmed him down, saying it was part of the therapy. This treatment continued for several weeks and every time the doctor shoved a muffin, a Twinkie and a cookie up his a**. Finally, after many visits, the Doctor instructed the patient to bring a muffin, a Twinkie and a mallet for the next visit. The day arrived and this time the doctor shoved only the muffin and the Twinkie up the patient’s a**.After a few minutes the tapeworm appeared out of his a**hole and demanded, “Where’s my cookie!?” WHAM!!! - http://www.commonsenseevaluation.com/#sthash.vaQB0DyZ.dpuf