Almost A Darwin Award Winner

A man from Alliance, Ohio, tried to shoplift about $1000 worth of merchandise from Wal-Mart and then decided to hide from the police by hiding in a trash dumpster. But bad timing came to this fool as the dumpster was emptied into a garbage truck and he was compacted several times with all the other garbage.
From The U.K. Mail Online: He was 'hiding in a dumpster behind a Wal-Mart in Alliance and he was hiding from police and it was just picked up and dumped in a trash truck and they were mobile and he needed help.'
Emergency operators also took a 911 call from a frantic Brienzo, begging them to find the truck. 'I'm in the back of a trash truck that keeps compacting me!' Brienzo said as dispatchers urged him to calm down.
Police say Brienzo was literally being compacted along with between six and eight tons of rubbish mostly discarded cardboard.Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1314889/Man-killed-rubbish-truck-hideaway-starts-compact-him.html#ixzz10ahWwXn8
Obviously, the garbage truck could not tell one piece of garbage from another, so was the thief kept getting squished.
Of course, liberals and unions came to Wal-Mart and protested the thug thief should have been allowed the thief to walk away from the store with the merchandise because he was just a victim of Wal-Mart's non-union policy.