From the San Fran Chronicle:
In 1964 when Kathleen Hoy Foley was 16 years old and pregnant from a rape,
the New Jersey woman knew she didn’t want to raise a child. Abortion was illegal
at the time, so she opted for a closed adoption with Catholic Charities.
She wanted to move on.
“The day I walked out of that hospital, it was the day it ended for me,”
Foley, now 65, told the New York Daily News. “I was emancipated. I truly believed I was
free.”
Foley kept the door closed on that horrible chapter of her life for many
years, never telling her husband or daughters that she gave a baby up for
adoption. She didn’t want anyone to know what happened. Over 30 years later she
was forced to face the past.
In 1964 when Kathleen Hoy Foley was 16 years old and pregnant from a rape,
the New Jersey woman knew she didn’t want to raise a child. Abortion was illegal
at the time, so she opted for a closed adoption with Catholic Charities.
She wanted to move on.
“The day I walked out of that hospital, it was the day it ended for me,”
Foley, now 65, told the New York Daily News. “I was emancipated. I truly believed I was
free.”
Foley kept the door closed on that horrible chapter of her life for many
years, never telling her husband or daughters that she gave a baby up for
adoption. She didn’t want anyone to know what happened. Over 30 years later she
was forced to face the past.
Even though Penn has reached out to her mom several times over the past 15
years, the two haven’t met in person. Foley, now age 65, doesn’t want to ever
meet her daughter and she has become an advocate for women who have given up a
child and prefer to remain anonymous. Foley wrote a book, Woman in Hiding: A True Tale
of Backdoor Abuse, Dark Secrets and Other Evil Deeds, about her rape,
the adoption and her daughter trying to contact her. Now, she’s speaking to the
media about her cause and national news sites from the New York Daily News to the Daily Mail have covered the story this week. http://blog.sfgate.com/sfmoms/2013/03/11/n-j-woman-refuses-to-meet-daughter-she-gave-up-for-adoption-after-being-raped-over-30-years-ago/
I am adopted and I have never had the urge to find my birth mom and unless you have a serious medical condition in which you need a family medical history, I don't understand why other people do it.
The way I look at it, my adoptive parents are my real parents and only parents And if my birth mom wanted to find me and talk to me, I would meet with her but it would only be on stranger on stranger visit and nothing more.
And to Penn, leave your birth mother alone- you sound like a stalker.
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I have 8 adopted family members who feel the same way as you do. One says I have enough people in my life who love me, I'm loved enough.
ReplyDeleteMs. Penn should be thankful her birth mother didn't get rid of her via a back alley abortion or induce a miscarriage by throwing herself down the stairs. Ms. Foley did the best she could with a horrible situation and IMO did the right thing.
ReplyDeleteShe should leave Ms. Foley be. Firstly, she was the product of a rape, which is traumatizing enough, but why push the issue when Ms. Foley already made it clear that she wasn't interested in a relationship? Secondly, I don't buy into that "medical history" crap. Lots of people develop disorders that may never have been seen nor diagnosed within known biolgical relatives. It's just an excuse to bully women away from wanting to adopt their unwanted children - and encourage abortions. The only exemption would be if one required a transplant or transfusion in which only a blood relative can donate.
I also never bought into the open adoption process either, as many bio parents seem to think that the adopted parents are just taking care of the kids while they get to visit and complicate the relationship (which mommy is really mommy?). It's best for adoptions to remain closed unless both parties consent to meeting after the child has grown to age of majority.
It's also possible Ms. Penn may have had a falling out with her adoptive parents (or perhaps they passed on) and she thinks that she can turn to Ms. Foley as a sort of substitute.