Saturday, April 14, 2012

This Guy Has Issues, But For The Most Part, Is Accurate About Wisconsin Politics

Abe Sauer is a writer and wrote a piece for The Awl.com.  The guy clearly has some issues, but he kind of makes many great points about Wisconsin politics: (sorry for the language)
Wisconsin has become a place where arguments begin with John Adams' "Facts are stubborn things" and then follow with "The Bible tells us..." It's also a place where a leader who disbands collective bargaining is compared to another generation's leader who gassed millions in an attempt to exterminate a whole people. I have no more energy for you, Wisconsin. You beat me.
Fuck you, union leaders. You park your giant tricked-out Teamsters big-rigs, the ones with Ohio plates, around the capitol during the protests, then you waddle to the podium and accuse the governor of recruiting out-of-state money and being out of touch with the common working man. And now, to support Walker challenger Kathleen Falk, the unions have brought the exact kind of shady, no source money into Wisconsin that those on the left decry when it comes from the Koch bothers.
Fuck you, Kathleen Falk for signing a pledge to the unions in exchange for union endorsements. Ew.
Fuck you in your ego, Mayor Tom Barrett. You lost to Walker once already and this election has nothing to with the quality of the Democratic candidate. Millions of dollars have been spent and polling shows the voter needle has not moved at all. This election will be all about turnout, and both parties could run a bag of human excrement and have about the same chances. Fuck you twice, Barrett, for actually using Walker's public employee union cuts to help balance Milwaukee's budget and then having the giant testicles to run against his union-busting policies....
Fuck you, Wisconsin Democrats. Your fundraising website that suggests it will help with the Milwaukee County "John Doe" felony investigation into Scott Walker and staff is actually making matters harder for the attorneys and, obviously, tainting whatever results come of the probe. Good work, geniuses   
And fuck you in your gavel, Dane County Circuit Judge David Flanagan. Demonstrating a complete lack of what "judgment" means, or any sense of self-awareness, Flanagan signed the recall and then promptly ruled for a temporary injunction against Walker's new Voter ID law. Yes, the law is likely discriminatory and should probably have been shelved for further review. But, for fuck's sake, do you understand how it looks when a judge who signs a recall against the lawmaker who signed the legislation rules against that very legislation? Worst of all, your stupid, stupid actions made news services like Media Trackers right for once, which is all they need to claim total legitimacy.
Fuck you, Koch brothers. I'm not even sure why anymore, but everyone seems to be sure you are evil so there must be a reason. (Please keep sponsoring "Nova" though!)
Fuck you, Wisconsin Democrat Congressman Ron Kind. If you're going to jump on the Koch-bashing bandwagon—and there's room—probably best your campaign doesn't take $16,000 from them. Christ.
Fuck you, Scott Walker. Fuck you for becoming a figure of any importance whatsoever. No matter what happens to you, you know down deep you are a patsy half-wit who ran from the disaster of your old county executive position to one in the state where you are now a nationally admired conservative leader. Sorry, pal, but anyone who takes a crank call from a Koch impersonator is not a political mastermind: he's a boob nursing an increasingly large bald spot he hopes others don't see. If you win this election, you win; and if you lose you become a martyr against the unions (and win). Fuck you for having no downside. Go become governor of Colorado where you were born. If Americans For Prosperity won't do it, someone will surely organize a bus.
Finally, fuck myself. Like many Wisconsinites with a personal attachment to the state and (maybe unreal) idealized notions of what it was, I'm at fault for letting all of this get to me. I should be  fishing.
http://www.theawl.com/2012/04/as-goes-wisconsin-so-goes-hell
Pretty entertaining but also pretty accurate.

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