Item #02-410423 Assumption Abbey Fruitcake
Williams-Sonoma says: "Baked by trappist monks at a monastery in the Missouri Ozarks. Order early. Supply is limited."
Price:$39.95
Notes from Drew: Everything about that sales copy just blew my skull. There are trappist monks in the Ozarks? Do they brew artisanal meth? I don't trust fruitcake to begin with. I sure as shit am not trusting fruitcake that comes from a redneck friar. They'll swap out uppers for candied fruit. And yet, supply is limited. Apparently, the market for $40 Ozark fruitcake is ENORMOUS. White women from Bridgehampton ALL THE WAY to Westhampton rely on the monks to deliver their holiday fruitcake every year. Ina Garten's ADORABLE HUSBAND JEFFREY WHO MAKES A LOT OF MONEY loves the sight of a fine white-trash-monk fruitcake any time he comes home. TIE IT UP WITH THE TWINE!
Item #02-9691155 Found Grain Sack Stocking
Williams-Sonoma says: "NEW & EXCLUSIVE. Crafted from 70-year-old Hungarian grain sacks made of burlap and linen. Made in Hungary."
Price:$39.95
Notes from Drew: You want me to pay 40 bucks for an old sack? OH BUT IT'S HUNGARIAN. They're known for their sacks!
http://deadspin.com/5959212/the-haters-guide-to-the-williams+sonoma-catalog
If you are thinking about getting me something for Christmas, don't get it from here- a Wal-Mart gift car would be just fine.
h/t Althouse
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